I have a confession to make. It took me six years to earn my blue belt.
Six.
Years.
Some of that can be chalked up to traveling the world, living in three different countries, and never spending more than one year at the same gym.
Work and family obligations also prevented me from going to class more than twice a week.
So, perhaps I have some excuses.
But still.
Six.
Years.
During those years I saw people, some of whom started later than me, promoted to blue belt and even purple belt.
I think one of them may be one stripe short of a brown belt.
I also have to admit, I have felt the sting of envy on more than one occasion. In fact, I have lost count of how many times I felt like storming out of the gym and throwing my belt to the curb after watching someone with half my experience promoted to the rank above me.
But being held back is not as bad as it seems. In fact, it has its benefits, assuming you have a fair, qualified instructor.
Here are three reasons why.
You know you earned your rank
If you are passed up for a rank, you know you are not at a McDojo that is going to hand out participation awards. You are at a real gym that demands real improvement.
Yes, your instructor knows you are mad that you are the only one who did not move up a rank, and perhaps she even feels a little bad about it.
But she would rather suffer through the guilt of hurting your feelings than jeopardizing the prestige of her gym.
Furthermore, when she finally does wrap that belt around your waist, she wants both you and her to feel rest assured that you earned it.
Your instructor obviously cares about you and your gym.
Embrace the fact that you have someone like her teaching you.
It will humble you
As I have said a million times over, there is nothing worse than cocky martial artists. They are a danger both to themselves and to others.
But as I have also said, cockiness can be cured easily with a healthy dose of reality.
Getting passed up for a promotion is a harsh but effective way for your instructor to remind you that you are not nearly as talented as you think you are.
Take it as a compliment. He does not want your ego hurting you or anyone else.
It will show you what is important
Your instructor promoted all of the other students because they are better than you. Their moves are more precise, their transitions are smoother, and they have a better grasp of the techniques necessary to move up the jiu-jitsu ladder.
Are you feeling depressed yet?
You shouldn’t be.
Jiu-jitsu is not a race. It does not matter who is better than you. What matters is that you are better than the person you were yesterday.
Being passed up for a promotion is a good chance to say to yourself, “Who cares if the other students got their belts before me? I’m not competing with them.”
Your improvement is the only thing that matters in class. Feel grateful for the times you are reminded of that during your BJJ journey.
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