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“I Just See Red, Man,” Says Guy Digging His Elbows Into Your Thighs
Shocking news today as one man’s claim of turning into a force of unrestrained violence during physical combat is now...
“That Was More Of A Choke Than A Crank,” Says Teammate Insulting Your Twister
A two-stripe white belt is now on your bad side following a passive-aggressive excuse after tapping out to one of you...
BREAKING: Grown-Up Tells You, Another Grown-Up, Where You Can & Can’t Train
A grown-*** man has set strict parameters about where you, a fellow grown-*** adult, are allowed to train, according ...
“BJJ Is My Therapy,” Says Student Who Is The Reason Teammates Need Therapy
A Brazilian jiu-jitsu brown belt has become the latest practitioner of the sport to proclaim that participating in a ...
“Stop The P*ssification Of Jiu-Jitsu,” Says Man Who Sits Down To Play-Fight
Brazilian jiu-jitsu black belt Darren Rodgers has publicly condemned what he described as “soft” grappling in a bold ...
“Jiu-Jitsu Makes Your Kids Bullyproof,” Says Biggest Bully On The Mats
A local BJJ program is being called “the best way to bullyproof your kids,” according to jiu-jitsu purple belt and ki...
“Don’t Worry, That’s Normal,” Says Teammate Whose Ankle Just Made The Worst Noise You Ever Heard
A BJJ brown belt on your team is apparently “fine” after a sound he describes as “normal” and everyone else describes...
Local BJJ Student Receives Blue Belt, Becomes Unholy Chimera Of Apex Predators
A newly promoted BJJ blue belt is currently recovering after undergoing a sudden disturbing transformation. Chad, who...
Fat Bearded Man Gets Choked Out After Breaking Into Home Of Jiu-Jitsu Black Belt
A man with a white beard currently known only by his first name is in stable condition after being choked to sleep fo...
Local Turkey Uses Jiu-Jitsu To Control Aggressive Farmer Until The Cops Arrive
A turkey in Minnesota has been labeled a “hero” in his own community and “a terrifying force of nature” by police aft...
Local Blue Belt Uncovers “Emotional Affair” Between Girlfriend & Overseas Gi Manufacturer
In a scandal that has shocked his local jiu-jitsu community, Brazilian jiu-jitsu blue belt Jackson Williams has revea...
Outrageous Conspiracy Theory Suggests That My Rashguards Didn’t Shrink, I Just Gained Weight
The latest theory to emerge amongst the COVID-19 news is as offensive as it is false. Despite overwhelming evidence t...