Taking your girlfriend to open mat sparring or a match can be and is, exciting. However, there should be some sort of unspoken rules about this. In MMA sparring, it’s completely unprofessional to take your girlfriend to watch you spar. Your opponent already knows 1. This guy really is going to raise the level against me or possibly thinks 2. I like the guy, let’s let him win. It’s egoism at some point. This applies to open mat sparring as well, just with less consequences than say MMA sparring. This doesn’t really apply if you’re both training as well and thus, distracted.
When I went to Brazil I wanted to show my ex-girlfriend everything. I didn’t want her to feel left out. I thought it would be a cool cultural experience. It was a cool cultural experience – We walked up the streets of a Favela. On the first story of the building, the music of capoeira was blasting and the sounds of favela life were creating an atmosphere which truly felt Brazilian. That being said, she was witness to an occurrence or sequence of events that would be a great title for an adults-only web page “Naïve young gringo travels to Brazilian favela and…” ….Well, use your imagination. I went hard on everyone, they went hard on me and I got smashed. I walked away feeling a little bit less of a man that day and I was a purple belt. There’s nothing more ego shattering than having your girlfriend sit there and watch as groups of men systemically pick you apart and put you in strange positions in which appear intimate and exotic and she may not understand what is happening other than by watching the grimaces on your face.
I’ll tell you the same advice for white belt competitions. If you’re not a person with extensive competition experience, it might be humiliating – you may be entirely distracted if your significant other comes to watch. Especially in a new relationship. It reminds me of my first home team wrestling match as a varsity athlete. It was my first year, I had just made it on the varsity team and I was by all means, still a novice wrestler. My opponent was a multi-year veteran who went onto a D1 school and state champion. The match lasted under 10 seconds. My girlfriend, my teachers, my neighbors, my friends, the guy who drove the school bus – everyone in my small community saw me absolutely annihilated with such a beautiful throw that I can to this day, remember the ceiling of what my high school looks like in that exact moment as I was being hurled through the air like a ragdoll. I would like to mention though, later on in the season we had a rematch and I manage to lose by points and not a mortal combatesque fatality finish.
Another embarrassing story, I took my new girlfriend to watch me fight Muay Thai in Bangla stadium in Phuket. It was a professional rule, paid fight. I had trained hard, but I was gripped by nervousness. The opponent changed last minute and I was paired up against a retired 200+ fight veteran who had since taken on the occupation of tuk-tuk driver. My girlfriend watched me get a beatdown by a fat taxi driver. It was four rounds of him cutting away at me with leg kicks. I don’t recommend this experience. She was traumatized too. I couldn’t walk normal for a week.
So, save these times of showing your loved one your passion when you’re more experienced. Where competition feels natural. Where you’re able to set the pace of rolls and there is no stress. It’s a lesson I’ve had to learn a few times.
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