Once you really start getting into jiu-jitsu, it becomes more of a necessity than a hobby. And just like any necessity, you can start to experience some pretty alarming symptoms when you have to go without it for an extended period of time. Whether you’re having to miss class due to injury, work, school, or personal reasons, it may not be long at all before you start to notice that your behavior seems a bit . . . off. Are you ill? Going insane? It might seem like it at first, but don’t worry too much. What you’re experiencing are textbook signs of BJJ withdrawal.
Here are the five symptoms you need to look out for.
You want to choke something. Anything.
Even though you know you should be hoping you never have to use jiu-jitsu in a real-world situation, you’re also kind of hoping that dude giving you a funny look would just tackle you right here, right now.
“Bring it on,” you think, narrowing your eyes at a person who has literally zero interest in fighting you. “I’ll pull guard so fast, you won’t even know what hit you.”
By the time you walk past him, you’ve already thought of ten different ways you’d submit him, none of which would probably work. But at this point, you’d do just about anything to be able to roll.
Your entire Facebook newsfeed seems to be about jiu-jitsu.
Granted, it’s usually that way in the first place, but today, it seems like everything plus one is about jiu-jitsu.
Of course during the week that you can’t go to class, everyone and her mother is winning tournaments and attending seminars. That one day you almost made it to training before you got asked to stay late for work happened to be the same day that Buchecha, Eddie Bravo, and Mackenzie Dern all strolled into the gym together to roll and take pictures with everyone . . . except you!
The FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) is real, and you know it’s not going to stop until you get back into the gym.
You start using jiu-jitsu customs in weird places.
You guys don’t even use the word “oss” in your gym, but for whatever reason, you just said it to the cashier instead of “thank you.” You didn’t try to. It was just sitting on the tip of your tongue like one of your teammates’ leg hairs, and it left your mouth before you could bring it back.
And of course, who could forget the moment you tried to slap-bump that important client at work instead of shaking his hand? Your boss won’t, that’s for sure.
You start believing that everything you experience is somehow related to jiu-jitsu.
You could have sworn that your buddy just said “armbar,” but it turns out he was just talking about a regular bar. You know, the one you’re sitting in right now.
While you’re there, you see a stranger with a geometric triangle pattern on his shirt. Where other people might see the Illuminati, you see a man who knows you’re dying to train and wore that outfit specifically to taunt you. “It’s like he knows that’s my favorite choke,” you whisper to your friend, who has no idea what the hell you’re talking about.
You wonder if you’re slowly forgetting all you know.
It’s only been four days, but it feels like four years. To keep your mind sharp, you try to review that move you learned at that expensive seminar two months ago and realize that you can’t remember any of it. You panic, forgetting that the only thing about that seminar that stuck in your mind in the first place was the way the Brazilian instructor said “leggy” instead of “leg.”
But then, the doubt keeps growing. What is a guard? How do you pass it? Do you even know how to tie your belt, or have you just been relying on muscle memory this whole time?
You’ll have to wait an eternity – or, you know, until Monday evening – to find out.
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