Let’s face the facts, when it comes to being a female in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (BJJ) it can certainly have its hardships. Not being able to keep a decent manicure for more than several days, having our hair stepped on and always in our face (we’ve all been there apologizing to our partners for having to fix our hair after a round). There is another issue: Guys who do not know how to roll with members of the opposite gender. Do not get me wrong, not all guys are guilty! In fact, many male BJJ practitioners who understand the sport and have experience are fantastic training partners. Unfortunately, I myself have seen and experienced the guys who do not know what to do when they are up against a female. Let’s take a look at the different scenarios and some of the dos & don’ts.
Typically, we have two scenarios. The first is facing the guys who have too much ego. They feel they have something to prove. First of all, when walking onto the mat, the ego should be checked at the door. After all, Jiu Jitsu is such a humbling sport that if you cannot get rid of that ego you will never reach your full potential. Therefore, when rolling with a female, these over-confident individuals do everything they can to smash us. It may be through technique, or even worse they’ll use plain muscle and brute strength to sit on us. I cannot tell you how frustrating it is to be with someone who just uses their weight and no true technique to sit on you. You physically cannot do a thing but lay there and hope that the buzzer goes off soon before your lungs explode. The second scenario, which is quite opposite, is when guys who think that the females they train with are made of glass. It is considerate to be worried about us and understandable, but we are in there for the same reasons as you. Please don’t treat us like we may break into a million pieces if you roll with us. So how can you excel as a male BJJ fighter while respecting your female partners? Don’t be these types of guys!
Jiu jitsu is a balance. When I see guys roll with guys versus guys rolling with females, the difference can be shocking. After all, isn’t it a main point of the sport to utilize technique over strength? You don’t need to use your muscle to win or be scared of hurting us, because we are all here to learn and improve. It isn’t helping anyone to train in either of these ways. No one benefits from that; however, if you properly know how to roll with a female, it can be VERY beneficial. There will be certain aspects of your game that you can work on that maybe you cannot work with as well on a male counterpart. I hope this perspective is helpful to both male and female BJJ fighters, on and off of the mat.
Let’s conclude this with a brief list of Dos & Don’ts when training with women.
DO:
- Treat us with respect
- Look at us as equals; we are your training partners!
- Work with us using technique so that we can all benefit our game
- Challenge us in the right way
DON’T:
- Just use muscle to win
- Be scared to touch us; we won’t break!
- View us differently than your male training partners
- Apologize if you accidentally sit on our hair or we catch your knee etc….it comes with the territory of the sport.
We are all in this sport together, lets train like it!
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